As a Wrestling Fan, I Am Technically Your Dream Girl, but With More Signature Moves

For the 50 billionth time I decided to watch the PPV known as Invasion 2001 where Shane McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, and mastermind Paul Heyman again and I realized how lucky the Alliance was. Yes, I know about rigging matches and paying people to lose (since I am not an idiot) is the norm.

The Alliance had the disadvantage in every respect. John Layfield Bradshaw and Farooq rape Chuck Palumbo and whoever his tag-team partner was. Maybe Sean O'Hare.

But my point is that this tag-team matchup was a failure for the WCW from the beginning:
Bradshaw and Farooq (A.P.A. and also second-most badass team in the whole WWF after the Brothers of Destruction). The A.P.A. destroyed Palumbo and O'Hare easily in their Invasion PPV match.

Then what was the secondary main event? A BUCK NAKED TAG-TEAM MATCH.

Just look at this shit:

Amy "Lita" Dumas (a personal friend TBQH) and Trish Stratus
Vs.
Torrie Wilson and Stacy Keibler

The idiotic thing about this particular matchup is that Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus and Amy Dumas is two non-wrestlers (Wilson and Keibler) versus a borderline wrestler (in that Trish Stratus can probably beat you up) and an actual, trained wrestler. Amy has three disabling moves: the Moonsault, the Twist of Fate neckbreaker, and a double special known as Poetry in Motion (another way to indicated that someone is a homosexual).

The problem here though is that Jeff Hardy is incredibly hot and I need for him to do me. I don't care if he's as gay as Ricky Martin, he'll probably take up singing emo (the terrible kind) songs about leaving one's heart in Ohio to cut your wrists and close your eyes so you can go to sleep tonight (because the low blood pressure would wake one up if not killed probably).

This fairweather (haha lolol 'Fairweather' is actually my name, hehe) friendship I have with all my associates is what I consider to use as drug buddies - selling them drugs (often rare) and sell them paraphernalia and when "needed," I repeatedly do this in order to gain more money by selling drugs. Currently I am a Flower Girl and a Computer Technician. If I don't have marijuana or heroin, the weather is not considered fair because these are important factors. I won't spoil the movie Twelve Angry Men which is kind of similar, yet it is a human being on trial for stabbing another guy with a switchblade. After observing the wound, I came to the conclusion that it was not experiencing hemorrhaging and seizures and a mild myocardial infarction that put me in the hospital for a week. It didn't work because my godawful parents made myself into a quarter!

I spent several months locked up in jail once. I CAN TELL YOU THAT EVEN ONE MONTH IS HELL. I no longer speak with my stepmother anymore; I bought an apartment of my own. I don't really care if I'm diagnosed with yet another thing. The DID and PTSD are enough.

In this, I win. Every time.

-@llison