So as usual I was lying on my bed since I'm lazy, regardless of the recently-removed cancer and associated pain, the other night and an episode of Star Trek: Next Generation came on particularly all about the Prime Directive and the reason this instigated the policy. I will analyze the aforementioned episode in two ways. The first would be a Virgin's take on it or at least what I can imagine them seeing it as, the other take proceeding that would be mine, the way people who do not make me want to kill myself just for being in their species think.
Fucking Asshole Who Should Be Ashamed of Himself
Hm beep beep beep nearing planet in doom! Whoops! Humans down there! [insert fanboy's wet dream involving the psychic with black hair] Hm, let's move the planet with the tractor been by like 0.3 degrees or something so that it is not destroyed by like a comet or something, I don't remember. It could have been the sun's rays or my own semen for all I care. OH NO! WE DONE GONE AND VIOLATE THE PRIME MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTIVE! THESE HUMANS WANT TO REINTEGRATE [this part of the storyline, which is what the episode is all about, completely will fly over your head if you are a Virgin] THE END.
Clever and Charismatic Nerd with IQ of 136
HeLLO, you stupid assholes! HOW MOTHERFUCKING LONG HAS IT BEEN? I mean you still don't get it. You guys are the Eternal Virgins who tell themselves that you're waiting for Seven-of-Nine, when come on, don't delude yourselves, you couldn't even attract a 200-pound hairy piece of something you'd hope is shit because the alternative is far more terrible and hilarious. At least bears have gay bars to go to. Also I think there is some kind of virgin-detection device at the door. I stood in a line in one once and I noticed the trend that they were only letting people who had a sense of dignity and shame in and there are all these virgins flying left and right, this is the sole reason I ever go to bars. I can get drunk at home but home doesn't have aerial virgins.
Anyway, the reason why the Eternal Virgins not only love the cock, but mistake it for a lightsaber - whoops, wrong space thing mentioned - is because some chemical that is killing off lame pieces of shit as I write this sentence resulting in widespread stupidity.
Star Trek has nothing to do with space. You pathetic fat "humans" who won't even get laid by a prostitute for a hundred bucks DON'T GET IT. It's all about the ethics involved, you half-way brain-dead embarrassing examples of even the fattest of fucks. THINK ABOUT IT! Unfortunately there is some university in Indiana that has a class called "Star Trek and Religion" and it made me go what the fuck until I decided that "Star Trek and Ethics" would be more credible as a course because every other episode someone's fucking shit up by violating the Prime Directive and when that's not happening PRACTICALLY ALMOST ALL THE TIME IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE, SOMEONE MUST MAKE A DIFFICULT MORAL CHOICE. Maybe not as bastardly GODAWFUL like a LITERAL SOPHIE'S CHOICE, but it's always involving a moral dilemma and that's the point Gene Roddenberry was trying to make when he set out to go and make what no man had made before (as if you didn't see that coming?).
Unfortunately pathetic virgins probably like you who's reading this verbal emesis (sorry, vomit, couldn't think of another word to describe the SHIT that I'm talking about) because not only have most of these people not seen their penises in years, but also HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK FLUENT KLINGON, VULCAN, OR ROMULAN? It's like, what the fuck? It's the equivalent of learning Latin, but ten times gayer because at least at some point in time LATIN EXISTED AND WAS CONSIDERED A LANGUAGE. How many history books [not written by arguments in favor of destroying all humanity just to get them (otherwise known as Virgins)] detail the godforsaken origin of the Klingon language?
-@llison
Fucking Asshole Who Should Be Ashamed of Himself
Hm beep beep beep nearing planet in doom! Whoops! Humans down there! [insert fanboy's wet dream involving the psychic with black hair] Hm, let's move the planet with the tractor been by like 0.3 degrees or something so that it is not destroyed by like a comet or something, I don't remember. It could have been the sun's rays or my own semen for all I care. OH NO! WE DONE GONE AND VIOLATE THE PRIME MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTIVE! THESE HUMANS WANT TO REINTEGRATE [this part of the storyline, which is what the episode is all about, completely will fly over your head if you are a Virgin] THE END.
Clever and Charismatic Nerd with IQ of 136
HeLLO, you stupid assholes! HOW MOTHERFUCKING LONG HAS IT BEEN? I mean you still don't get it. You guys are the Eternal Virgins who tell themselves that you're waiting for Seven-of-Nine, when come on, don't delude yourselves, you couldn't even attract a 200-pound hairy piece of something you'd hope is shit because the alternative is far more terrible and hilarious. At least bears have gay bars to go to. Also I think there is some kind of virgin-detection device at the door. I stood in a line in one once and I noticed the trend that they were only letting people who had a sense of dignity and shame in and there are all these virgins flying left and right, this is the sole reason I ever go to bars. I can get drunk at home but home doesn't have aerial virgins.
Anyway, the reason why the Eternal Virgins not only love the cock, but mistake it for a lightsaber - whoops, wrong space thing mentioned - is because some chemical that is killing off lame pieces of shit as I write this sentence resulting in widespread stupidity.
Star Trek has nothing to do with space. You pathetic fat "humans" who won't even get laid by a prostitute for a hundred bucks DON'T GET IT. It's all about the ethics involved, you half-way brain-dead embarrassing examples of even the fattest of fucks. THINK ABOUT IT! Unfortunately there is some university in Indiana that has a class called "Star Trek and Religion" and it made me go what the fuck until I decided that "Star Trek and Ethics" would be more credible as a course because every other episode someone's fucking shit up by violating the Prime Directive and when that's not happening PRACTICALLY ALMOST ALL THE TIME IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE, SOMEONE MUST MAKE A DIFFICULT MORAL CHOICE. Maybe not as bastardly GODAWFUL like a LITERAL SOPHIE'S CHOICE, but it's always involving a moral dilemma and that's the point Gene Roddenberry was trying to make when he set out to go and make what no man had made before (as if you didn't see that coming?).
Unfortunately pathetic virgins probably like you who's reading this verbal emesis (sorry, vomit, couldn't think of another word to describe the SHIT that I'm talking about) because not only have most of these people not seen their penises in years, but also HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK FLUENT KLINGON, VULCAN, OR ROMULAN? It's like, what the fuck? It's the equivalent of learning Latin, but ten times gayer because at least at some point in time LATIN EXISTED AND WAS CONSIDERED A LANGUAGE. How many history books [not written by arguments in favor of destroying all humanity just to get them (otherwise known as Virgins)] detail the godforsaken origin of the Klingon language?
-@llison
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